Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I studied three months in advance. Going through so many notes. And on the actual day of the examination, I felt so relieved. Everything seems easy to me. Everything that I memorized, studied and gone through came out. And I answered each and every question carefully. Right after each paper, i reached out for my bag and quickly looked back at my notes. And then came the excitement and confidence as soon as I realized that I really can pass my papers. As usual, my friends and I will compared our answers together. And we all got the same answers for most of the question.
And then the results came out. Most of my friends got A, B and C for their papers. And I got very excited thinking what my results will be. I'm happy for my friends but their results doesn't pull my confidence level down. So after the class earlier on, I went to the admin staff to collect my cert. My eyes quickly look out for the name on the cert which was given to me after seeing the number of subject passed. Confirmed, it was mine. I don't know what went wrong.
Words can never describe how hurt I felt upon seeing my results. I was shivering while holding on to my result and almost burst into tears. Out of four, I only passed one. And that's accounting. I was happy for that, but that feeling can't beat the pain I felt for the other three. I won't mind if I didn't make any effort to study for all those subjects. But the thing is, I did. And even my friends were surprised. They even reminded me that we did compared our answers and we've got almost the same for all. My mind went blank.
How do I share this kind of news with my family? It doesn't matter how hard I studied or how I took the initiative to study in advance unlike those secondary school days. Because in the end, what matter the most is my result. I have no guts to share it with any of my close friends. But then again, keeping it to myself is making myself crazy. So I decided to let it out here.
I've never felt this way before. Maybe because, this time round, I study sincerely with all my heart. As for my results, I never did that intentionally.
And then the results came out. Most of my friends got A, B and C for their papers. And I got very excited thinking what my results will be. I'm happy for my friends but their results doesn't pull my confidence level down. So after the class earlier on, I went to the admin staff to collect my cert. My eyes quickly look out for the name on the cert which was given to me after seeing the number of subject passed. Confirmed, it was mine. I don't know what went wrong.
Words can never describe how hurt I felt upon seeing my results. I was shivering while holding on to my result and almost burst into tears. Out of four, I only passed one. And that's accounting. I was happy for that, but that feeling can't beat the pain I felt for the other three. I won't mind if I didn't make any effort to study for all those subjects. But the thing is, I did. And even my friends were surprised. They even reminded me that we did compared our answers and we've got almost the same for all. My mind went blank.
How do I share this kind of news with my family? It doesn't matter how hard I studied or how I took the initiative to study in advance unlike those secondary school days. Because in the end, what matter the most is my result. I have no guts to share it with any of my close friends. But then again, keeping it to myself is making myself crazy. So I decided to let it out here.
I've never felt this way before. Maybe because, this time round, I study sincerely with all my heart. As for my results, I never did that intentionally.
